Winter Cleaning

As we all know, Saturday afternoons are arguably the most valuable commodity to a college student. Most of them are filled with football games, visiting family and friends, so it is rare when you find yourself in possession of a completely free Saturday. My roommates and I decided to seize the day and undertake some thorough winter cleaning. While it is a story in and of itself that you would find five college dudes spending hours cleaning, the real story lies in the events that took place the following day.

In the process of cleaning my roommates ripped out two ceiling fans, and a considerably large block of sheet rock from our run-down shed. We immediately placed them in the trash pile that resides on the side of our house and I didn’t think anything more of it. This morning when I was awakened by a loud banging at the door, I immediately scrambled out of bed, threw on some clothes, ran to the door all the while thinking who on earth would dare disturb my slumber at 11 am on a Sunday morning. I was surprised to find a man that I had never seen before standing in front of me. He asked, with a glowing smile, if we would be using those anymore as he pointed to our pile of garbage. I looked at him perplexed, but responded with a simple, “no man, go for it, they’re yours.” I could see the excitement on his face while he ran over to claim his prize, and carry them back to his car.

Now, I guess this is the part where I say that one man’s trash is another man’s treasure so value what you have! But that lesson learned would have given me no trouble while attempting to fall back asleep. Instead, a blade of conviction pierced straight to my heart. Tossing and turning as if I had something weighing down on my conscience. A phrase kept echoing in my head, “You live so comfortably.” My heart was breaking as I was confronted with the reality of how truly selfish I am. The issue is not that I threw away a ceiling fan that was gladly picked up by a stranger, but the real matter is that as a Christian I was slowly being blinded to the heart of Jesus. I am haunted by the fact that I am completely content and comfortable to get in my car that is worth thousands everyday, sleep in a bed with extra padding, blog about Jesus on a Mac Book Pro, and enjoy costly meals to “be intentional” with a brother or sister in the faith. So often my prayers don’t get away from “bless this”, “bless that, please God.” But the reality is that He already has. How can I possibly enjoy the multiple jackets I own, most of them being simply for fashion, when my brothers just a short drive away will die this winter because they lack protection from the elements?

Now, before I go any further you must understand that these things, in and of themselves, are not inherently evil, but even if possessions, wealth, and greed aren’t an explicit idol for you, I believe that we have gotten so accustomed to living the way we do that we cannot truly see the depth of this problem. Billions live on less than a dollar a day across this earth, some on the other side of the town from you, but I don’t even give it a second thought when I spend four dollars on a latte simply because ‘I was craving one.’ Jesus calls us to look after the poor and those in need, and I am convinced that when we actually do this, we can no longer continue with ordinary lives. What would happen if instead of avoiding eye contact to for the man on the sidewalk asking for money because I think he is just going to buy booze with it, I attempted to meet his physical needs? Maybe I can give him nothing that he needs, but maybe I am able to give him everything he needs. This is the heart of the gospel, true religion, as James calls it. As we begin to be aware of the desperate need for water, food, shelter, clothing, and the gospel, the spring break trips to a tropical location that cost hundreds of dollars quickly lose their luster. This is not an attempt to guilt you into giving away half your wardrobe and savings account, but simply a challenge. Tears well up in my eyes as I contemplate how vastly different this world would be if we truly did love our neighbors as ourselves. No longer satisfied to hand out a gospel track and return to the pursuit of the American Dream. My prayer is that God would break me, break us from this selfish lifestyle we all lead. May I look to the needs of others before I decide to purchase another video game, pumpkin spice latte, or polo shirt. I want to stand confident because I know that if God called me to leave it all behind, I would. I am not there yet, but I cannot wait to embark on this journey of dying to myself. Will you join me?

Try, Try, Try Again...

I am deathly afraid of failure. Now, this isn't some trivial fear that gets an entertaining rise out of me every once in awhile. No, this a fear that runs so deep through my entire being that it has infected many aspects of my life. I constantly push myself to perform at the best of my ability, and whenever I don't measure up, my inadequacies are once again highlighted. Even in the face of success, my heart is never satisfied by my performance. This ranges all the way from my performance as a traithlete to the pursuit of academics to the fulfillment I find in relationships and the satisfaction I am able to provide others in those relationships. Fearful that in my pursuits of worldly objectives, I may come up short and have nothing to offer those around me, destined for despair. Yet I have never been to measure up, and unforuntately, I don't see that changing anytime soon. Now, maybe this fear isn't something shared by those reading, but I have a sneaking suspicion that as we are called to 'be all we can be', many of us share this same insecurity. It doesn't take much to look around and see the that this world is full of broken people seeking satisfation in success. We pursue our self-set goals in order to proclaim to those around us that we have what it takes, we can make it on our own. The void we all seek to fill is deep, and the ugly truth still remains; we will never be good enough. I will never be able to win enough races, make enough A's in school, or encourage enough people. We continually let ourselves down because we failed to reach our goals, our heads may scream for a second chance determined to succeed the next time, but our hearts cry out for something more; Redemption. Every time we place our worth on the rising and falling of our successes, our Savior's heart breaks. We can be assured of this, no greater victory than that over death can be achieved by any of us. We mock the very resurrection of Christ when we put our worth in anything other than his defeat of death. He beckons us softly to walk in the beauty of His grace, but we reapetedly exchange the eternal security of mercy for a chance to build a kingdom that is rooted in nothing more than selfishness. The greatest realization one can come to is that they are a complete failure, and nothing has any worth outisde the sacrifice of Christ. Too often I have chosen to stare my Savior in the eye, and with my actions tell Him that His conquest of the inevitable was not enough. His side was pierced and His flesh ws torn so that we could experience a life free from the weighty chains of inadequacy. With His arms outstretched upon that cross He proclaims to all humiaty how much we are truly worth. The beauty of this proclamation is that it is not founded in any requirements or conditions. Pure grace. When the God-man proclaimed "It is finished" as He drew His last breath on that tree, all expectations were fulfilled. We are called not merely to accept, but to be defined by this truth. My prayer is that we would no longer allow ourselves to place worth based on our performance, but on the victorious sacrifice of Christ.

It keeps going and going and going and going...

As I was getting a ride home from one of my good friends he simply asked me the question "so how's your semester going?" A question college students hear on a daily basis, and so we all have canned answers. But this time, God struck something inside of me after I articulately delivered what I thought he wanted to hear, and how I was excited to see what God was going to do with me this year. I admitted to him that I was soo busy, and I had sooo much going on, but thats how I liked to do things. After a few hours, I sat back and pondered what I had been telling everyone who asked me that same question. I analyzed what was on my plate for the semester, and realized how deadly and dangerous it is to live your life at such a fast pace. I once heard it said that busy is an acronym for "Being Under Satan's Yoke". Regrettably, I have seen this acronym manifest itself in my life, in a very real and alarming way. Quiet times and prayer simply become another objective to cross off your list for the day, serving a brother, having lunches to encourage friends, worship and bible studies, all become as mundane and routine as going to classes. The Lord slapped me across the face with a firm hand of conviction at this point as I wondered when the last time was that I stopped, and simply sat in His presence. I had been moving so fast that everytime I went to the Lord there was no fruits to show for it because I hadn't stopped long enough to plant any seeds. Let's memorize some scripture and talk about John Piper to a friend and call the day a success because I focused on God. We might fool our brothers and sisters in Christ, and most likely ourselves for awhile, but in the meantime the Lord's heart is breaking. We trade in intimacy and a relationship for a schedule of activities and whole lot of labor. We reduce our God of the universe to 10 minutes a day and a chapter of scripture. What a tragedy! My life looks less like a radical warrior who has fallen deeply in love with Christ, and more like your typical over-involved and highly stressed college student.

We tend to wear our business as a title, using that as an excuse as to why we blew someone off, why we didn't call our parents, or why we never even spoke a word to our Savior today. I think we are afraid of what we might find if we slow down and sit uncomfortably in the Lord's presence. Perhaps we will begin to see how meaningless the fruits of our labor really are as we navigate our daily lives. Perhaps we will be shown the depths of our ugly hearts in comparison to a Holy God, causing us to fall on our knees proclaiming "woe is me, I am undone!". Maybe, that interaction will undeniably change our lives forever, and that is something we are very, very afraid of. Let us no longer hide behind the mask of business and allow God to guide our steps instead of a self-centered, calculated schedule that strips us of our dependence on our trustworthy Guide. My prayer is that we would slow down long enough to enjoy the presence our our Maker.

Not so bad, right?

A little passage I wrote a few days ago in my journal:

Exam and probe your ways. Because brother, you say your a Christian, but you haven't served the King Most High single day. You can sit in church and sing along to all those cute little worship songs, not knowing all along that your mind's aligned completely wrong. How do you think your supposed to bend to one knee when it means nothing to you that creation sings 'Holy, Holy, Holy'? Now you might not smoke weed or look at pornography, but do you really believe that abstinence will set you free? You're not righteous because you don't act on sin, it's not your behavior, but a heart condition. but you shrug your shoulders and refuse to look within, thinking if you do bad then you're not living in sin. I don't care if it's noticeable, laughable, measureable, detestable, or acceptable, it all flows through your veins and is pumped by your heart. You've been depraved since the start, and there's nothing you can do to be set apart. You're destined for flames regardless of how well you play this spiritual game. There's only one thing to quench the thirst of God's wrath, its the mangled body of Jesus hanging lifeless during the crucifixion aftermath. with a spear in his side, thorns in his brow, there's no other options for the wicked now. But to bend low at the cross, and take a grateful bow. Abandon this lie that you have it together, and begin to walk by grace into the gates of forever.

Step one: Admit you have a problem

Having just finished up a summer full of investing in high school kids, wakeboarding, running, sweating all day, and being surrounded by such a strong community of believers, my heart was completely restored and awakened to the man the Lord is calling me to be. If you have ever spent time at a Christian summer camp, mission trip, Young life camp, or weekend retreat. The subject I am going to talk about is all too familiar to us. We enter in the gates of whatever Christian venue the Lord brings you to often times with a heavy heart and broken spirit, coupled with a heavy load of spiritual baggage. But during your stay, your heart is awakened to what God is doing, and something interesting happens. You cry, lift your hands during worship, read your bible diligently, and pray ferverntly. You cry out to God saying "I'll never sin again!" You throw the stick in the fire, leave the card at the cross, or chunk the rock in the lake symbolizing your unwavering commitment to God's plan for your life. We exit the gates with a uncontainable passion for God, and a laundry list of things we are going to do and not do once we get back home. This experience has been effectively titled "the camp high". It leaves us needing our next "fix" of Jesus, so we can just make it through the year. Our generation, with the emphasis on Christian getaways to experience God has single-handedly created the most unique addiction this world has ever seen. Luke warm christians are addicted to camp... We make it back and, try and go strong for awhile, but it just isn't the same at camp, the worship back home isn't as good, and you don't have the same desire to read or pray anymore. What happened? God, where are you? Why am I not feeling you? All the sudden sin looks a little more attractive. You fall once, feel terrible, and claim it will never happen again. Then a second time... a third time. Bearing the weight of conviction with each fall you endure. Finally, you are so tired or falling, being convicted, repenting, and falling again that you shut yourself off completely. The word of God gathers dust on your nightstand, you stop answering your small group leader's, pastor's, or mentor's phone calls, so deeper and deeper in sin you go. It gets even worse than when you left for camp the first time, and you've made more mistakes and suffered even more scars. You enter in the gates the following year with even mroe baggage to leave at the cross, and you throw one more stick in the fire claiming to God that, "this really is it! I'm never going back I promise!"

We've all been there. There is no life and life to the full to be found in this cycle either. The question that haunts us though is why. What went wrong? I think the answer is pretty simple, but we are too self-centered to ever see it. For most of us, our encounters with God may be genuine, but i think we miss out on what God is trying to show you. The problem is that every time you lay your life down at the cross, its for you. It is so you can live a good life, and be known as a leader becaue of your faith. It is so you can never have to deal with sin again, or you can finally lay hold of what God has to offer you. And all that may be true, but the fact is that this line of thinking is so me-centered that its sickening. God calls us not for us, but for Him. He breaks our hearts so we will commit them to Him in order that He might be glorified. It just so happens that our satisfaction comes through precisely that; Glorifying God. If we go back home and this isn't our mindset, then it is ultimately about us, and plans with us at the center crumble very, very quickly. When we encounter a holy God, I pray we do not leave wondering what we are going to do with Him. But instead, seek what He is going to do with us. Walk in the truth that God made us to glorify Him, and only when that is the sincere attitude of our heart's will we ever be able to stay true to those commitments made around the campfire on the second to last night of camp. My prayer is that we would begin to see the fault on thinking it is about us, but instead we would latch onto the truth that it has only ever been about Him.

On the Road Again

In the book of Matthew Jesus is baptized and then God speaks and says "this is my son, with whom i love, with him I am well pleased." When I read this verse, it never really strikes me. I mean ok, God looks down and sees His son/Himself and says He is pleased. Well duh! He's God incarnate, untainted by the world, set out to free his sheep from entanglements of evil, so they can roam in the pastures of freedom. So it never really struck me as to why this verse was always quoted or why it was even in the bible! And the realization I came to is most likely not even what Matthew had in mind when he put this text in his writing, but last night the Lord opened my eyes and I saw this passage in a whole new light. The past few weeks it has been a battle for me to simply accept God's grace and rest in the shadow of his cross. I found myself being consumed with this notion that I must prove myself worthy of His love. And while Paul does call us to live in a manner worthy of the gospel, I had missed the point. It was killing me inside, any slip up, any sin, I'd beat myself up over it, wallow in guilt, repent, and repeat cycle. Where was the assurance of eternal security or the promise of life to the full? Because it was far removed for me as I battled a shadow of sin that I wasn't going to overcome. My depravity had gotten the upper hand, and I sank. I was wearing thin, and if you've ever been there like me, it gets to the point of numbness, and you know youre in trouble. Lifeless to everything, a smile feels insincere and rejoicing, weeping, conviction, joy have all but faded to memory. I was approaching that point, and then i remembered a video i watched about how God draw nears to us in silence. So i set out in my tahoe down a country road to gaze and the stars and wait for a whisper. And thats exactly what i got. It wasn't long until my mind wondered to the verse Galatians 2:20 which says "... I no longer live, but Christ lives in me." That's when God made the connection to Matthew 3:17 which i mentioned early. A light went on and i felt a weight lifted off my back. If what Pau says is true, then when God looks at me He says "I love you, I am well pleased" regardless of our baggage, because we are seen through the lenses of Christ's atoning sacrifice. We no longer have to earn out way, pay him back, live in fear of rejection.. He is well pleased with us. He calls us beloved. All we must do in walk in that light and with that knowledge. Let us not run the race to prove ourselves, but run so our Dad can take us by the hand and softly voice His approval for us, no matter our pace or place. His blood was spilled so the God of the universe can see only purity when He looks at us. Walk in this truth... "This is my son, whom I love, with him I am well pleased"

Fellowship of the Unashamed

This is a writing that fires the tar out of me and maybe you'll get some motivation out of it today just as I have. This is not my writing, but it is worth sharing, and puts into words what I have been learning and desire to lay hold of.

I am a part of the fellowship of the Unashamed. I have the Holy Spirit
Power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has
been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow
down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense,
and my future is secure. I am finished and done with low living, sight
walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tame visions,
mundane talking, chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or
popularity. I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised,
regarded, or rewarded. I now live by presence, learn by faith, love by
patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power.

My pace is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my road is narrow, my
way is rough, my companions few, my Guide is reliable, my mission is clear.
I cannot be bought, compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back, diluted,
or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the
presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the
pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of
mediocrity.

I won't give up, back up, let up, or shut up until I've preached up, prayed
up, paid up, stored up, and stayed up for the cause of Christ. I am a
disciple of Jesus Christ. I must go until He returns, give until I drop,
preach until all know, and work until He comes.

And when He comes to get His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My
colors will be clear for "I am not ashamed of the Gospel, because it is the
power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes.." (Romans 1:16)

By Dr. Bob Moorehead

TomorrowLand

I am sitting on the edge of my summer, simply waiting to dive into the ocean of craziness they call summer camp. Amidst keeping my training up, pouring into my kampers, and growing closer to Jesus, it is easy to loose perspective in times like these. If you are around any college kid long enough, a subject that will almost always come up in conversation is summer plans. "What are you doing this summer?" "Gosh, I can't wait foir summer!" "Summer is coming soon." All are comments heard on college campuses everywhere. This is just one example of a people that look forward to something. We all partake in this, whether we look forward to marriage, college, summer, or a football game. We attempt to make these future plans we have a sort of pinnacle to acheive. As if once we reach this certain place, then life will be all it is supposed to be. We all have something we just can't wait to take part in. In some capacity, we all buy into the lie that once we reach, conquer, overcome, or accomplish a certain thing(s), then we will be complete. I fall into this same trap, and it is just that, a trap. The moment we begin looking to the future, wishing we were in some other season of life, is the very moment we lose the opportunity to lay hold of what we have in the present. We look to the future, and the present loses its signifcant. Thus, we make our way through life looking down the road, and we fail to take in the breath-taking and beautiful wonder that surrounds us in whatever season of life we may find ourselves in.

My favorite movies are Lord of the Rings, and I have a friend who has only seen the third one. So he cannot understand nor can he fully appreciate the significance of the only movie he has seen because he has no background of the story. So it is with us when we are so quick to move forward and ignore the greatness of what the Lord is unfolding before our very eyes.

I look to summer, and the motivation to work in school fades. I wish I was married, and I can't appreciate the brotherhood I have been blessed with. How arrogant? With our anxiety we spit in the face of our Creator telling him that the road he has us on is not good enough to satisfy our hearts. We tell him we need something more, yet I question if I would have this attitude if I truly sought the Lord in the present instead of looking for what He has in store for me. We are so easily consumed by lovers less wild, and the most fierce of all loves in found right where we stand, it is not at the end of a yellow brick road, or a long journey. But grace emerses us if we simply allow ourselves to stand in the present. If we truly believed that God has plans to prosper us and give us hope and a future, not to harm us, then we can take a deep breath and begin to simply live. I complicate things by planning, and if I simply allowed my God to lead me, then I would truly be satifsied. Fulfilling His perfect will for me by bringing glory to Him in all that we do... right now. My prayer is that we would simply allow the pages of life to be turned by the one and only Author, and we would stop attempting to skip ahead on this incredible adventure that the Lord promises us. May we begin to be captivated by the present, and by our faithfulness to the here and now, cultivate a sweeter, more glorifying and satisfying future. Live today as if it was truly enough to fill your soul.

Omg.. Did you hear that...

As this year of college is coming to a close, there is something that I have witnessed in my life, and I would assume that is a common denominator among many of my Christian brothers and sisters. This has been ruined my perception of so many, and has become extremely offensive to my God in heaven. Selfish Arrogance. I'm not simply speaking of wanting your way when we dont get it, or thinking we would do better at this position than so and so, or even being frustrated at our circumstances because we can't see the good in them, and we think we know best. No, what I speak of, I believe, hits much closer to home for any person in the faith, and for that matter, on the outside as well. We are selfish in a way that reveals the deepest depravity of our hearts. We believe that we have the right to hold our fellow Chrisitians to a standard that Christ isnt even holding us to. How on earth do we think we have the right to pass judgement and pass it off as juicy gossip concering those around us? I have heard and done some form of this interaction so many times that I am often blinded to the weightiness of what's going on.

It goes something like this:

Person 1: Hey, do you know so and so?

Person 2: Ooh, uum, yeah I do, she's a great person, its just...

Person 1: Wait, just what?

Person 2: Ooh no, like I said, shes a great girl, I just have a bad taste in my mouth because (Insert juicy piece of gossip that skewed this person's vision of the other here)

Person 1: Ooh man, I didn't know that about her, but I can kinda see that about.

Person 2: But dude, like I said, she is an awesome girl, she's just got some sin/growing that she needs to deal with.

It is so suttle that we either let it slide, or don't even notice it. But it leaves person 2 feeling good because they pointed out a flaw in someone else which makes them feel much more secure with their shortcomings. We all deal with our depravity in this way, because we all know the truth about ourselves. We are wrecthed. Comparison is the idol of choice for person 2. And then person 1 invariably has a skewed vision of the person of conversation, and the next time they interact with that person, their own impression is all but lost, and the only thing that is left is the gossip extended his way. So next time he hears that person pray, speak of the Lord, be kind to someone else, we question their intentions because we know some dirt. This then becomes a matter of the heart, always assuming that person's intentions are off-base when they do something we disagree with, or don't know the full story of. Then we tell our friends about what this person did and what you heard, which skews their vision of that person. It's cancerous. And the body of Christ is devoured from the inside. "I would never do that, I just cant believe so and so did." It makes us feel good. We hold a sick sinner up to our standards and watch them fall short. What arrogance? Now matter if you are person 1 or 2 (trust me I've been both plenty of times), we rub dirt in Christ's side everytime we pull out our measuring sticks and size up a fellow believer. As Paul says, "Are you so foolish? Having started with grace, are you now ending with works?" Grace is the victim here. We mock God's very sacrifice we when do not allow our eyes to see only the blood of Christ that covers a person's life. Christ calls me holy, blameless, and beloved, why is it so difficult for us to do the same? My prayer is that gossip would be crushed, and selfish arrogance woud have no place in our hearts.

Ogres are like Onions.

"Oh John, if you only existed." This was a comment I heard while sitting on the beach in Destin over spring break as I was reading next to a group of girls who were enthralled with The Last Song. All the girls seemed to nod in agreement with what was said, and then dive back amidst the pages of their love story. Every girl has a deep cry within her heart to be swept off her feet by a Prince Charming, Knight in shiny armor, to rescue her from her troubles, give her the world, and serve her until the beginning of enternity. The question for every girl is "Am I beautiful?" (And don't worry this blog isn't simply about girls, we will get to guys in a little bit.) In the sappy love stories and chick flics, we find these men who fulfill the heart of their beauty. This is why so many women LOVE Nicholas Sparks, P.S. I Love You, and any other romance movie you can think of. Yet when their gaze shifts from the movie screen or pages of a book to reality, their hearts are often times left unfulfilled by their boyfriends or husbands even if they are "good christians guys". One of my friends told his girlfriend and the beginning of their relationship, "I will never be able to fulfill you." And her response? "Don't tell me that." Now, I am no relationship expert and have minimal authority on the subject at best, but I think we can learn alot from this. The core issue with this is not that girls long for something that can never be met, but the problem is that there is only on person that can satisfy the soul of someone. Men will always disappoint. I am reminded of one of a scene in one of my favorite movies, Shrek. The ogre just valiantly rescued Princess Phiona, and she commands him to take off his helmet. He contests that she will not like what she finds, but she persists nonetheless. Shrek removes his helmet and you see her heart immediately sink. He asks a simple question, "Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming?" and she replies with, "well... yes." Both parties are now left with crushed hearts. Shrek is emasculated and Princess Phiona is left disappointed. I can relate so much to Shrek. I am no prince charming. As men, we are sinful, selfish, arrogant, and prideful. If you are looking for a man to sweep you off your feet and satisfy your soul, look no further than the sacrificial love displayed on the cross. Christ is your knight in shiny armor. The Great Romancer will whisper to you and touch the most intamate parts of your soul. Now on the other hand, there is the man. Gentlemen, how arrogant are we to think we can possibly fill the void in a woman's heart that only the omnipotent God of the Universe can fulfill? The notion that we can actually be a knight for someone, a savior, is almost laughable, and it reeks of pride. This has left so many men wrecked, because we take on a relationship in order to seek validation. Every man has the question of "Do I have what it takes?" written on their hearts. When we attempt to answer that question by being the best boyfriend, we will be nothing but dissappointed. Because no matter how hard we try, we will always fail in comparison to the one our soul truly longs for. So for the chick flic lovers out there I have news for you: John does exist. Open up the book of John and get to know your bridegroom, the lover of your soul. The one who will take death, become nothing, left forsaken, so that you can be fulfilled forever. Now, that's love. And for our guys, there is only one who can fulfill the heart of a women, let him do his job, and only point them to the cross. May we stop trying to prove ourselves, and rest in the shadow of his cross. My prayer is that we would not be consumed with a search that is ultimately fruitless, but we would take the questions of our hearts to the One who holds the answers. John does exist.

Well.. The worship wasn't that good yesterday.

Well guys, here is a post from my older brother Russell. He is one of the wisest guys I know. So enjoy.

"How was church today?" "Well, it was good, but the worship just wasn't that good." I know most of us have either heard this exchange in some form or another. Perhaps, we have even casually offered this response to the question. Well, I want to take a minute to ponder that idea; to ponder worship. Now, I offer a couple disclaimers at the beginning: I understand what people intend to convey when they say this. They are either referencing their perceived lack of quality of the music that was played or voicing their disagreement with the style in which it was played. Also, this is in no way a "knock" on contemporary worship music or it's role in churches today; I love it as much as the next guy. This is more of an examination of what Matt Redman famously called the "heart of worship." So, bearing that in mind, let us look at worship for a minute. There are several points that arise from this commonly uttered phrase that I think need to be addressed.

Though it may not be quite as obvious as we would like to admit, worship is more than music. We know this. But do we know this? We simply choose to use the medium of music to express our thanks, praise, adoration, and much more to our God whom is deserving of it all. Music sung and played to God is not only a powerful way to express our worship, it is biblically condoned and even commanded. Just read the Psalms. Songs are beautiful and powerful. And today's hard-hitting contemporary style songs are equally so and aid many in their worship to our God. However, we must not restrict our idea of worship to simply songs sung to God. I want to distance the idea of worship from music as a whole because I fear they have become to closely intertwined in our minds. You all have read Romans 12:1. Well, here it is again to remind us. "...Present your bodies as a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship." Music is simply just one solitary way to worship the Lord, and it, in itself, neither adds or subtracts from our worship to God. Music is not your worship to God. It is a medium. A vehicle. I charge each one of us to look at himself or herself and discern whether or not the quality or style of music affects the quality of their worship to God. If so, I think we might have a shallow view of what worship actually is, or at least the worship mentioned in Romans 12. Having said that, I fully recognize that preferences and styles of worship are important. Wrong notes, shrill voices, or confusing songs distract us and draw our attention to them instead of its proper place. This is why it is important to find a church in which you feel comfortable and free to worship; and enjoy the type and style of music played. But, let us not be so quick to grade our worship on Sunday as sub-par because Johnny wasn't the best singer or the drummer was off a half beat. Strive to push through those little distractions to achieve what we gather to do: praise God. I often times want to respond with this, "I'm sorry I didn't know worship was for you." How self centered and "me" saturated have we become to need certain type of worship to "feel" God. Consider Chinese Christians worshipping underground who have no way to play music. Their worship is no less worthy or whole than ours, simply different. So, be mindful of how we view worship, not only in our churches but in our lives, as well. I think in this day and age of lights, smoke, and concert-like worship services (this is not sarcasm or tongue-in-cheek, it just simply is a fact of what churches incorporate into their services) we must be careful to guard our hearts. Let us not be caught up in the music, it's quality, notes or pretty tones, but let the object of our worship, Christ Almighty, always be before us. If we say, "the worship wasn't that good," to whom do we look for a remedy? We have only ourselves. Through modern and contemporary music, hymns and organs, a cappella services, or complete silence, let our God be worshipped the same: through our hearts and through our minds, and perhaps most importantly, through our actions.

Send me a whisper

Oh Lord, you have not hid your face from me, I have chosen to look away. You emerse me in your presence and I rebel. I am so unclean I cannot bear to rest in your arms. So I drop the saving grace you offer and strap on my pride. Hiding my true heart from those around me, refusing to allow your mercies to be made new. I am crying out Father so desparately, but my flesh supresses the cry of my soul. I cannot unbound myself from the sin the entangles me. You call me to be free, you call me to throw off the chains, live in your freedom, stand on grace, encourage the saints. But how can I, oh God, when I am drowning in sin and shame? I push deeper still, attempting to show those around me that I am overflowing with your love, but I am nothing more than a broken well who cannot hold water. Fearing that if I show my weakness and vulvernability, those around me will see me for what I truly am. Nothing. I read your word and sing songs of praise, but I am unaffected when you seemingly touch my life. I do not have the desire to desire you. Prone to wander Lord I feel it. My mouth says you are worthy but my actions spit in your face and turn my back on the cross. Emotionless and unaffected. Nothing. Conviction is far from me, and a passion for you love has fled. Woe is me, Father. I am unclean. I do not deserve what you offer. I see now, how little strength I have, I have relied on myself for security yet again, but I cannot last. I need you Lord. I need to feel my need for you. I have settled for lovers less wild far too long, nothing but your sacrfice can satisfy the deep longing of my soul. Send me a whisper, Dad. Come break the silence. I am listening. Quiet amidst your presence. I do not deserve what you offer, but grace makes me clean. All the praise to you, and nothing to me. With tears, through pain, a faint smile takes its place on my face, because not even the anguish of my very heart can keep you away. As I sit in sorrow and shame, if I am still enough a voice causes the hair on my neck to stand up. "I will never leave you or forsake you." My savior was forsaken, therefore as a child of the King he meets me where I am, throws off his cloak, and dances at my return. Though I do not feel it. you are near. "You have overcome this heart that is overcome." I have hope in this: Your power is perfected in weakness. Break my legs, Father, till I stand on nothing but your grace. Thank you, Dad.

Hide the eggs

As Christians we are all aware of the fact that this Sunday is Easter. Churches are prepping the overflow rooms and getting all the extra chairs they can because each sanctuary will be packed with casual American Christians. Getting their fix of church between Christmas seasons, tons of people will gather to celebrate the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. But for so many of us it stops there. How can a significant portion of the American population gather to worship a homeless man on Sunday, yet ignore the needs of one on Monday? It has pained me so much to watch close friends and immediate family walk away from the church for this very reason. We sit comfortably in our pews, while a lost, broken, and dying world is right on the other side of our church walls. I judge my day on whether or not I had a good quiet time, and if I "felt" God today in my life. What a self absorbed walk of faith? I read all the latest, trendy christians authors, and I listen to all the popular podcasts, but I rarely pray for God to show me the least of these. The beauty of Christianity is not found in the massive crowds or compelling messages, rather it is displayed in the intimacy of those actions that extend far beyond the pillars of the church. The gospel comes alive when the lion lays down with the lamb, when we beat our swords into plow shares. Life and life to the full cannot be seen on Sunday morning. But it is experienced when we become to hands and feet of Christ. I pray that this Easter we will look at the cross, consider the empty tomb, and be driven to action that resounds throughout eternity.

Best Wishes from Granny

I recently recieved a random card from my Grandma, and it simply made my day. I think we all look forward to those obscure holidays, or random days the grandparents send some much needed cash our way. I often recieve baskin robbins gift cards even though there is no baskin robbins in college station, maybe some two dollar bills that I always feel bad spending, or possibly an Itunes gift card. But whatever the treasure we find inside the envelope I always am so glad that Granny and Papa thought of me to send me something. I've gotten so many cards from the G-parents over the years that it's almost expected, but something hit me so hard when I opened this most recent letter. I went to my mailbox and saw that I had mail, which was exciting enough, and then I saw good ol' Granny's handwriting, I knew it was going be something good. I tore open the letter, ignored the card and took what was inside. I marveled at the Rosa's Cafe gift card (which is my favorite restaraunt), and it wasn't until the next day that I dug the tarnished card out of my backpack and looked at what was written. After I read the letter that came along with the gift, God smacked me in the face with conviction and teaching. My mindset with this small gesture from my grandparents is exactly how I approach the Living God. I completely ignore the beautiful love letter He has written to me, and focus on the blessings He has graciously bestowed upon me. I enjoy my family, friends, healthy body, talents, and gifts, but I ignore the deepest sign of His love to me; His written word. A letter written to me over to course of history that screams throughout the 66 books, "I love you, I love you, I love you." So it was with my grandparents, the gift was simply an extension of what was expressed in their writing. It was simply a gesture that reinforced their love for me, it did not prove it. So many times I get angry with God for not giving me what I want, and I call His unfailing love into question because something didn't go my way. My God loves to shower me with blessing because I am his beloved son, but I often love God for what He gives me, not for who He is or what He says to me. I constantly look for signs in order to get an answer but I rarely approach His word for guidance. I can picture God looking down saying, "Hello, I've already told you what to do, but you haven't looked for it yet!" What if the love of your life died tomorrow, and after they passed away you discovered a collection of love letters written to you? For the next season of your life you would do nothing but dwell on the pages of those letters and soak up every word. You would read them everyday and constantly remind yourself of what was written to you. Turns out, God did exactly that. His word proclaims to us how much He values us, yet we would rather act like a spoiled child and measure His character with what He provides for us. My prayer is that we would begin to delight in God for who He is and the love He continually demonstrates to us through His living word. I have had too many conversations with christians who say that, "I just don't get much out of reading the bible". What a sad reality for a christian to be unmoved when the same voice that spoke stars into motion is waiting to speak to us between the covers of our bibles. If our path is not lit by His written, established, and infallable word, why do we think a voices in our heads that we often mistake for God's voice will be a better source of light for us on our journey? Let us pick up our bibles and delight in the blessing of His spoken word.

I'm Leavin on a Jetplane

I recently traveled to go visit one of my friends, and I cannot stand flying. Its not that I have a fear of it or anyting, it is just such a prodcution and honestly very draining for me, so I was not particularly looking forward to the trip. But God spoke to me so clearly on the plane, and I wanted to share what I learned.

Our plane hit a severe amount of turbulance. The noise of fearful gasps flooded my ears and overpowered the music. It got worse, and the anxiety intensified on the plane. The woman next to me grabbed my arm and looked at me with the most fearful eyes, but all I could do was smile. I realized that God is not done with me. This turbulance is nothing because I am in his hand, so I simply enjoyed the sensation in my stomach that came from the shifting of the aircraft. Then we emerged. I saw the massive cloud, laced with rainfall, that we had just flown through out the corner of my eye. Then I noticed the radiant sun gently kissing the clouds that we soared so gracefully above. Beauty. Pure Beauty. This is when I encountered a beautiful metaphor. The tragedies in life can be counted as turbulance. They produce anxiety, fear, that unbearable sick feeling you find in your stomach. They cause you to wonder, "where are you?" "why is this happening?" "am I going to make it?" No one enjoys the painful process of tribulation. It's painful, it doesn't seem necessary. It fills us with doubt and steals our joy. Oh, but if we only knew what was stored on the other side. The turbulance gave way to one of the most beautiful depictions of the skies I have ever seen. As if anxiety and fear caused me to see the world from a life-transforming lens. The sun never seemed so bright, the clouds never so majestic. Tears filled my eyes as I sat in this moment with my God's hand, no doubt, resting gently on my shoulder. These are the moments that cause us to break out in song, praising His love, these realizations give us the strength we need to fulfill the law of Christ found in Galatians. Tragedy, tribulation, and trials are merely the steps that precede rejoicing, happiness, and joy. There is nothing significant about struggle. It just so happens that death is the only way to resurrection. Yet every time I go through a hardhsip, I kick and scream, begging and pleading God to save me from having to experience anymore pain. However, it is the valleys that allow you to truly appreciate the beauty of a mountain top. If we want to know the creator, He will walk us through fields of pain, so let us recieve His will with open arms.

-Jeff

And The Winner Is...

There is such irony in the concepts of independence and accomplishment. The wordly authorities tell us that as our age increases, so does our responsibility. We gain independence, and consquently, our self importance and self appointed authority increases. We are called to be decision makers and find a purpose. In some ways, this is very true. Yet I see the irony when I compare this to Christ. He calls us to grow deeper in Him. To die. To quit. Stop making decisions and allow Him to work through us. He wants us to downplay our significance. The only responsibility we have is the abide in Him and all that comes along with that. As Christ entered the climax of His ministry, the world handed him a Roman Cross and adorned Him with a crown of thorns. We pursue glorious victories as to boast our accomplishements. Yet the most glorious victory of all was obtained by a dismembered carcass marred beyond recognition. His eyes rolled back into His head as He drew His last breath as if to say, "I take this cup from you." Mosty of us stand over our defeated in triumph. But my God cries out, "forgive them, they know not what they do." The world shook and the most significant event in History ended as a spear pierced the helpless victim's side. There was no cries of victory, no celebration. Only tears. Only despair. Victory obtained through the destruction of an innocent man. We are called to model Christ, so why do we thirst for victories that will only burn away? Our petty gold will rust, and our trophies will gather dust, but Jesus' blood never fails us. Tears rolled down his cheeks as the crowd mocked Him. The unblemished lamb knew the ultimate gift would be birthed through His pain on the cross: Salvation. Death is the ultimate victory when we think about Christ.

-Jeff