Ogres are like Onions.

"Oh John, if you only existed." This was a comment I heard while sitting on the beach in Destin over spring break as I was reading next to a group of girls who were enthralled with The Last Song. All the girls seemed to nod in agreement with what was said, and then dive back amidst the pages of their love story. Every girl has a deep cry within her heart to be swept off her feet by a Prince Charming, Knight in shiny armor, to rescue her from her troubles, give her the world, and serve her until the beginning of enternity. The question for every girl is "Am I beautiful?" (And don't worry this blog isn't simply about girls, we will get to guys in a little bit.) In the sappy love stories and chick flics, we find these men who fulfill the heart of their beauty. This is why so many women LOVE Nicholas Sparks, P.S. I Love You, and any other romance movie you can think of. Yet when their gaze shifts from the movie screen or pages of a book to reality, their hearts are often times left unfulfilled by their boyfriends or husbands even if they are "good christians guys". One of my friends told his girlfriend and the beginning of their relationship, "I will never be able to fulfill you." And her response? "Don't tell me that." Now, I am no relationship expert and have minimal authority on the subject at best, but I think we can learn alot from this. The core issue with this is not that girls long for something that can never be met, but the problem is that there is only on person that can satisfy the soul of someone. Men will always disappoint. I am reminded of one of a scene in one of my favorite movies, Shrek. The ogre just valiantly rescued Princess Phiona, and she commands him to take off his helmet. He contests that she will not like what she finds, but she persists nonetheless. Shrek removes his helmet and you see her heart immediately sink. He asks a simple question, "Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming?" and she replies with, "well... yes." Both parties are now left with crushed hearts. Shrek is emasculated and Princess Phiona is left disappointed. I can relate so much to Shrek. I am no prince charming. As men, we are sinful, selfish, arrogant, and prideful. If you are looking for a man to sweep you off your feet and satisfy your soul, look no further than the sacrificial love displayed on the cross. Christ is your knight in shiny armor. The Great Romancer will whisper to you and touch the most intamate parts of your soul. Now on the other hand, there is the man. Gentlemen, how arrogant are we to think we can possibly fill the void in a woman's heart that only the omnipotent God of the Universe can fulfill? The notion that we can actually be a knight for someone, a savior, is almost laughable, and it reeks of pride. This has left so many men wrecked, because we take on a relationship in order to seek validation. Every man has the question of "Do I have what it takes?" written on their hearts. When we attempt to answer that question by being the best boyfriend, we will be nothing but dissappointed. Because no matter how hard we try, we will always fail in comparison to the one our soul truly longs for. So for the chick flic lovers out there I have news for you: John does exist. Open up the book of John and get to know your bridegroom, the lover of your soul. The one who will take death, become nothing, left forsaken, so that you can be fulfilled forever. Now, that's love. And for our guys, there is only one who can fulfill the heart of a women, let him do his job, and only point them to the cross. May we stop trying to prove ourselves, and rest in the shadow of his cross. My prayer is that we would not be consumed with a search that is ultimately fruitless, but we would take the questions of our hearts to the One who holds the answers. John does exist.

Well.. The worship wasn't that good yesterday.

Well guys, here is a post from my older brother Russell. He is one of the wisest guys I know. So enjoy.

"How was church today?" "Well, it was good, but the worship just wasn't that good." I know most of us have either heard this exchange in some form or another. Perhaps, we have even casually offered this response to the question. Well, I want to take a minute to ponder that idea; to ponder worship. Now, I offer a couple disclaimers at the beginning: I understand what people intend to convey when they say this. They are either referencing their perceived lack of quality of the music that was played or voicing their disagreement with the style in which it was played. Also, this is in no way a "knock" on contemporary worship music or it's role in churches today; I love it as much as the next guy. This is more of an examination of what Matt Redman famously called the "heart of worship." So, bearing that in mind, let us look at worship for a minute. There are several points that arise from this commonly uttered phrase that I think need to be addressed.

Though it may not be quite as obvious as we would like to admit, worship is more than music. We know this. But do we know this? We simply choose to use the medium of music to express our thanks, praise, adoration, and much more to our God whom is deserving of it all. Music sung and played to God is not only a powerful way to express our worship, it is biblically condoned and even commanded. Just read the Psalms. Songs are beautiful and powerful. And today's hard-hitting contemporary style songs are equally so and aid many in their worship to our God. However, we must not restrict our idea of worship to simply songs sung to God. I want to distance the idea of worship from music as a whole because I fear they have become to closely intertwined in our minds. You all have read Romans 12:1. Well, here it is again to remind us. "...Present your bodies as a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship." Music is simply just one solitary way to worship the Lord, and it, in itself, neither adds or subtracts from our worship to God. Music is not your worship to God. It is a medium. A vehicle. I charge each one of us to look at himself or herself and discern whether or not the quality or style of music affects the quality of their worship to God. If so, I think we might have a shallow view of what worship actually is, or at least the worship mentioned in Romans 12. Having said that, I fully recognize that preferences and styles of worship are important. Wrong notes, shrill voices, or confusing songs distract us and draw our attention to them instead of its proper place. This is why it is important to find a church in which you feel comfortable and free to worship; and enjoy the type and style of music played. But, let us not be so quick to grade our worship on Sunday as sub-par because Johnny wasn't the best singer or the drummer was off a half beat. Strive to push through those little distractions to achieve what we gather to do: praise God. I often times want to respond with this, "I'm sorry I didn't know worship was for you." How self centered and "me" saturated have we become to need certain type of worship to "feel" God. Consider Chinese Christians worshipping underground who have no way to play music. Their worship is no less worthy or whole than ours, simply different. So, be mindful of how we view worship, not only in our churches but in our lives, as well. I think in this day and age of lights, smoke, and concert-like worship services (this is not sarcasm or tongue-in-cheek, it just simply is a fact of what churches incorporate into their services) we must be careful to guard our hearts. Let us not be caught up in the music, it's quality, notes or pretty tones, but let the object of our worship, Christ Almighty, always be before us. If we say, "the worship wasn't that good," to whom do we look for a remedy? We have only ourselves. Through modern and contemporary music, hymns and organs, a cappella services, or complete silence, let our God be worshipped the same: through our hearts and through our minds, and perhaps most importantly, through our actions.

Send me a whisper

Oh Lord, you have not hid your face from me, I have chosen to look away. You emerse me in your presence and I rebel. I am so unclean I cannot bear to rest in your arms. So I drop the saving grace you offer and strap on my pride. Hiding my true heart from those around me, refusing to allow your mercies to be made new. I am crying out Father so desparately, but my flesh supresses the cry of my soul. I cannot unbound myself from the sin the entangles me. You call me to be free, you call me to throw off the chains, live in your freedom, stand on grace, encourage the saints. But how can I, oh God, when I am drowning in sin and shame? I push deeper still, attempting to show those around me that I am overflowing with your love, but I am nothing more than a broken well who cannot hold water. Fearing that if I show my weakness and vulvernability, those around me will see me for what I truly am. Nothing. I read your word and sing songs of praise, but I am unaffected when you seemingly touch my life. I do not have the desire to desire you. Prone to wander Lord I feel it. My mouth says you are worthy but my actions spit in your face and turn my back on the cross. Emotionless and unaffected. Nothing. Conviction is far from me, and a passion for you love has fled. Woe is me, Father. I am unclean. I do not deserve what you offer. I see now, how little strength I have, I have relied on myself for security yet again, but I cannot last. I need you Lord. I need to feel my need for you. I have settled for lovers less wild far too long, nothing but your sacrfice can satisfy the deep longing of my soul. Send me a whisper, Dad. Come break the silence. I am listening. Quiet amidst your presence. I do not deserve what you offer, but grace makes me clean. All the praise to you, and nothing to me. With tears, through pain, a faint smile takes its place on my face, because not even the anguish of my very heart can keep you away. As I sit in sorrow and shame, if I am still enough a voice causes the hair on my neck to stand up. "I will never leave you or forsake you." My savior was forsaken, therefore as a child of the King he meets me where I am, throws off his cloak, and dances at my return. Though I do not feel it. you are near. "You have overcome this heart that is overcome." I have hope in this: Your power is perfected in weakness. Break my legs, Father, till I stand on nothing but your grace. Thank you, Dad.

Hide the eggs

As Christians we are all aware of the fact that this Sunday is Easter. Churches are prepping the overflow rooms and getting all the extra chairs they can because each sanctuary will be packed with casual American Christians. Getting their fix of church between Christmas seasons, tons of people will gather to celebrate the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. But for so many of us it stops there. How can a significant portion of the American population gather to worship a homeless man on Sunday, yet ignore the needs of one on Monday? It has pained me so much to watch close friends and immediate family walk away from the church for this very reason. We sit comfortably in our pews, while a lost, broken, and dying world is right on the other side of our church walls. I judge my day on whether or not I had a good quiet time, and if I "felt" God today in my life. What a self absorbed walk of faith? I read all the latest, trendy christians authors, and I listen to all the popular podcasts, but I rarely pray for God to show me the least of these. The beauty of Christianity is not found in the massive crowds or compelling messages, rather it is displayed in the intimacy of those actions that extend far beyond the pillars of the church. The gospel comes alive when the lion lays down with the lamb, when we beat our swords into plow shares. Life and life to the full cannot be seen on Sunday morning. But it is experienced when we become to hands and feet of Christ. I pray that this Easter we will look at the cross, consider the empty tomb, and be driven to action that resounds throughout eternity.